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i laugh too loud. i sing all the time. i cry easily. i've been told i have the oddest sense of humor. ever. yes, i'm the one in the movies laughing when no one else gets it. the only time i dance is for my kids. they love my "rubber dance!" remember in school when you use to shake your pencils til they looked all bendy and rubbery? yeah, it's like that! ha! i stay up late and wake up early. i see a therapist who helps keep me straight and making good decisions. i do not speak to my mother and think this is great! I am moody, opinionated, emotional, intelligent, and empathetic. i love all things girly but mostly shoes, and have a bizarre infatuation with the following: lady gaga, celine dion, stacy london, britney spears. (how the heck does that even make sense?!) oh yeah and i am addicted to my iPhone.


katy interviewed me: [ps: go check it outttt!]

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

almost 2 weeks.

friends are lovely.

since sir g and i split, i have had friends crawling out of the woodworks like crazy. i didn't realize just how cut off from friends & the world i was until now. people i thought had forgotten about me or just plain didn't care are kind of coming in from all directions. i think this is wonderful. they are helping so much, i am barely having to do anything for myself.

the girls are immeasureably calm. i have had my head butting with lady o and her rage fest has only erupted twice and both times were very brief. [thank you jesus!]

i am having a hard time sleeping. i go to bed but can't fall asleep and i've tried everything under the sun. but on the upside, i have had NO panic attacks. the familiar warning signs do pop up if the house is quiet and i hear a sound. i freeze and wonder is he looking in the windows? is he watching across the street? my therapist says this is very normal and it should last a week or so more before it gets better. i can't wait for it to get better.

i do not miss him. i don't even miss just the "being here" part. last night the girls and i spread blankets out on the livingroom floor and ate pizza and watched inspector gadget and afterwards they took baths [started their own water & everything!] and even put themselves to bed @ 8 pm [they are allowed to watch cartoons until 8:30] with no problems. sure we came close to a few spills but isn't that what the blankets/towels were for?

so i keep waking up mega late. and this sucks. grrr i hate sleeping. i miss out on so much but i suppose missing out on stuff at night is better than the girls missing the bus, sleep just needs to come. i have something on my mind on top of everything else and it's consumming wayyyy too much of my thoughts. i have to either get with it or move on from it. grrrrrrrr.

i think that is all for now. =) have a great day!


5 delights:

Vickie said...

That is good that you and the girls are relaxing more. Hopefully you start to sleep better soon. Perhaps you are not used to sleeping alone and you just need to adjust. Maybe sleep in the middle of the bed. Claim your bed:)

emotional diva said...

THank you so much. and i got a new bed (old but new) it was the guest bed since our bed was technically HIS. it's only a full so big adjustment from grand king to full size. LOL i definitely claim the bed.
it's weird because of the silence. he took the cord for the cable hook up. i think if i had the tv i'd be good. idk. =)

Cassie said...

Pizza and the movie on the living room floor sounds amazing. I'll have to try that.

Jenny DB said...

Vitamin B12 and tryptophan are too good supplements that you can take to REALLY help with sleep

emotional diva said...

Jenny TY i will definitely try that at some point when i can get out of this house! =)