almost 2 weeks.

friends are lovely.

since sir g and i split, i have had friends crawling out of the woodworks like crazy. i didn't realize just how cut off from friends & the world i was until now. people i thought had forgotten about me or just plain didn't care are kind of coming in from all directions. i think this is wonderful. they are helping so much, i am barely having to do anything for myself.

the girls are immeasureably calm. i have had my head butting with lady o and her rage fest has only erupted twice and both times were very brief. [thank you jesus!]

i am having a hard time sleeping. i go to bed but can't fall asleep and i've tried everything under the sun. but on the upside, i have had NO panic attacks. the familiar warning signs do pop up if the house is quiet and i hear a sound. i freeze and wonder is he looking in the windows? is he watching across the street? my therapist says this is very normal and it should last a week or so more before it gets better. i can't wait for it to get better.

i do not miss him. i don't even miss just the "being here" part. last night the girls and i spread blankets out on the livingroom floor and ate pizza and watched inspector gadget and afterwards they took baths [started their own water & everything!] and even put themselves to bed @ 8 pm [they are allowed to watch cartoons until 8:30] with no problems. sure we came close to a few spills but isn't that what the blankets/towels were for?

so i keep waking up mega late. and this sucks. grrr i hate sleeping. i miss out on so much but i suppose missing out on stuff at night is better than the girls missing the bus, sleep just needs to come. i have something on my mind on top of everything else and it's consumming wayyyy too much of my thoughts. i have to either get with it or move on from it. grrrrrrrr.

i think that is all for now. =) have a great day!