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i laugh too loud. i sing all the time. i cry easily. i've been told i have the oddest sense of humor. ever. yes, i'm the one in the movies laughing when no one else gets it. the only time i dance is for my kids. they love my "rubber dance!" remember in school when you use to shake your pencils til they looked all bendy and rubbery? yeah, it's like that! ha! i stay up late and wake up early. i see a therapist who helps keep me straight and making good decisions. i do not speak to my mother and think this is great! I am moody, opinionated, emotional, intelligent, and empathetic. i love all things girly but mostly shoes, and have a bizarre infatuation with the following: lady gaga, celine dion, stacy london, britney spears. (how the heck does that even make sense?!) oh yeah and i am addicted to my iPhone.


katy interviewed me: [ps: go check it outttt!]

Monday, November 23, 2009

officially entered the death year...

this might be a downer post. i just can't seem to snap out of it. and people aren't used to seeing me like this so it's a constant parade of "are you suuure you're okay?" and "what's wrong hun??"
so i posted on my facebook i was dancing around.

lie. geezus. i  lied in a facebook status. wanna know why? k, i'll tell you.
because apparently i'm not allowed to be sad.
or mad.
or upset.
or down.
or for crying out loud a little bit blue!
shouldn't a person be able to put a sad face on their status without having to display details to the world? i mean i guess i could just solve the whole issue and post this:

"is thinking that life is no longer worth living. i cannot stand this eternal darkness any longer! i'm bawling like a baby on my bed with the TV & the iPod blaring and still i feel so fucking cold and sad and moody!"  as opposed to this:


but then come on. shouldn't i be allowed to post a sad face? and the latter...well that's just melodramatic and  begging someone to comment. it's not that i don't LIKE people's commentating. it's more like...dude, text me if you have a question. or just leave it alone.

facebook should have an option on whether or not comments can be posted to a status message. JUST.SAYIN.

and why aren't i allowed to post my grievances??
because i'm diva, the chica that lives up to her name and is happy go lucky and nothing ever bothers her.
this is probably where the whole "you've been happy all your life" comes in to play.
i always thought i was an open book. i prided myself on how open and trusting i was with people. until i look at myself now and i see that all i have ever done in life is hide and lie about who i really am. i have always portrayed myself to be this happy person but if you all really truly knew what it was to live my childhood...

my birthday was this weekend. i have officially entered the death year. the last and final year of my 20's and i sit back and don't understand how did i get here so fast? i still feel 20! i still feel like i have all this time left before i'm 30 and um helllooo people i don't!

my goal for next year is to go to new york. take a gf with me. party like a friggin rock star and get punk ass drunk. yes. i think that should be fun.

awards: love lady gaga.
adam lambert is super creepy. that wasn't even sexy...it was more like...awkwardly snuff film worthy without the snuffing but should have been snuffed.

4 delights:

Cassie said...

Well not only are you entitled to have a bad mood, a bad day, even a bad week, you are also allowed to vent it on your own damn blog. As for facebook, I take a quote I read on another blog, facebook is not real life. I never take other people's statuses completely seriously and expect them to do the same for mine. So post whatever you like and ignore the comments if you don't like em. Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

You can totally have a crap day, and scream dirty words at strangers from the comfort of your car, and throw a coffee mug at a wall, and draw sad faces on the palm of your hand and make paper airplanes with scowling pilots to fling out the window and even leave FB statii referencing the above activities. If people NEED you to be happy? BAH. Bah, I say! You feel however you want.

Online hugz, yo.

Christy in Seattle said...

You are not required to answer nosey questions, on Facebook or anywhere else. When you post about your moods and problems, though, you ARE inviting people into them, for better or worse. SURE, you're allowed to be sad ... are people who know you're sad not allowed to be concerned?

Andrea said...

Oh Girl. I know what you mean and can relate on so many levels!! Unfortunately, when you are literary exhibitionists like we are that's the down side. People can mis-interpret your words. That's why I usually keep all my "bad" comments for twitter where I have less of a crowd following me.

But you have a right to express yourself in whatever form you chose and you are "allowed" to post whatever you want. Tell those buggers who can't handle negative posts to ignore you.