i'm sorry, did i take a breath and make you assume i was finished?

i only take breaths between fractions of things i say. it's like, let me finish what i'm talking about before you put your 2 cents in because if you were able to interject anything of any interest, then that means i'm done talking about what i'm finding interesting and we have to move forward with the conversation instead of staying comfortably in the one topic that i love discussing and that is...me!

have you ever known someone like that? yeahhhh...congratulations! you do now!!!! don't fret, i won't do it to you. [obviously because there is no way i could interrupt or talk over you through the internet. wow. lucky you!] i don't know why i do it. i just do. it's like my brain is saying you are going to say blah blah blah blah blah and i'm saying it before i'm actually finished with the thought process of it in my head! as a matter of fact, it's more like i say it first and think it later. like somewhere my wires got crossed when God was passing out the nerve electrons for thinking before talking.

as you can imagine, this gets me in trouble. a lot. in a way, when my brother stated that i talk without taking a breath, that is the truth. however, my ability to talk the hind end off of a mule in no way deserved the hatred that spewed out of the huge orifice in my brother's face. or technically, from my brother's fingertips.

people don't understand me. ever.

• i'm the one laughing in the movie theater when no one else is.
• i'm the one who cuts the plastic liners up from a 6 pack of 20 oz sodas or 12 oz cans because i read somewhere when i was 12 that fish get caught in them and die. and i figure if you aren't going to recycle that shit, i might as well help keep a defenseless little animal from getting caught in the openings, you know?
• i'm the one sitting in the library reading. or in my bed. or couch. or back porch. nose in book.
• i'm the one who can recite all 103 lines of the highwayman from memory and even owns the phil ochs cassette version of my most favorite poem ever. i learned the lines in a 22 hour flight from NY to Tel Aviv and back my sophomore year in high school for a project in my advanced english class. miss preston rocked and even gave me a full score instead of half score! [because of my trip my project ended up being given 2 weeks late. in advanced classes you don't get leniency. you are there for a reason.]
• i'm the one who was in advanced everything. except math. math despises me.
• i'm the one who watches anne of green gables and all sequels every few months because they make me smile and remind me of the time in 9th grade when i changed my name to anne because i wanted to be anne shirley. i wanted to be anyone but myself. of course, so did she.
• i'm the one who was made fun of.

i'm the one who was made fun of because:

• i wore the same shoes to school. everyday. the same old dookie [don't you just TRIPPP when tyra says that? seriously!?] brown boots whether it was shorts, pants, or dresses was that my fashion statement? hell to the N.O.! it was because my parents didn't have a lot of money. and i never asked because asking would lead to a lecture about how i should be glad to get my sisters' hand me downs [even though my sisters are 7 & 9 years older than i] and how dear brother was the only boy and needed the new clothes since there were no hand me downs for him.
• i had 2 pairs of pants. medium wash jeans & green courduroy. guess which ones looked best with those boots?! i dare you.
• hair? ha! i had no clue what hair accessories were. my mother didn't have the use of 1 arm. my sisters were out of the house by the time i was old enough to start wanting my hair done. brush and ponytail. down, & parted down the middle. that's all i knew. so that's all i did. hippy-ish, but then again, what more could you expect from a poor southern gal born in the 80's and raised with music circa 1960's & 70's?
• my breasts were like nothing one day in 3rd grade and then poof, there are two huge dd's weighing me down the next. it sucked. it still sucks. even when my weight is down, they are still borderline g's! it is sooooo irritating!
• because i was different. because i wasn't what people would consider "normal." and people are afraid of anything that is different.

i think i am done now. i don't know where i was going with this post, but i wasn't planning on writing a post like this because i am actually in a really good mood. but i guess i needed to get it out? hmmmm.