things kids say

you can link up to "things kids say" @ mud pies for mommy. her kids are soooo funny so if you are a mommy blogger or you have children in your life or if you just overhear a kiddo say something tooo toooo funny then go ahead and shoot over to jennifer's site and mclinky up!

let's start with lady o (7 yrs):

her take on why she shouldn't be left out of getting drinks:

"mom, you should already know not to leave your drinks out. cuz me and lady n, we gonna drink 'em!"

her attempt to get sister in trouble without her own consequences:

"mommmyyyy!!!!! lady n's getting into your make up!!!!" [as she's running to her room with make up covering her face.]

"lady o, if lady n's getting into my make up then why is it on your face?"

[sad face trying to hide into the covers] "i don't know. the make up fairy?"

"lady o, why didn't you tell me lady n was into mommy's make up? if you did, she'd be the only one getting in trouble."

"i did tell you! i was just waitin' 'til she put it on my face!" [pouting]

"you should have told me before she put it on your face."

"well i was plannin' on bein' in my room and then yellin' it to you!" she was so mad! she was just intending on not getting caught! LOL

bragging on her math skills: [shall i note how many times on which words she stomped her foot? yes, i shall.]

"nooooooooo! nine plus nine is not eighteen! it's not not not not eighteen! i knowwww because i'm in 2nd grade mom! see this..." [holds up 2 fingers] "2nd.grade!"

"lady o, listen to me...add it again."

"i don't want to add it again! i don't need to add it again because i know that nine plus nine equals....ohhhhhh. sorry mommy. you're totally right. it's eighteen." defeated sigh, smile, nod.

huh? rofl

lady n's hilariousness is beyond me. i just don't know where she gets it: (5 years)

her thoughts on farming:

"mom, y'know how you always say we're runnin' 'round here like chickens with the hair cut off?"

"lady n, it's chickens with their head cut off."

[her eyes widened.] "head cut off?" [she grabs her throat in a "choke" with both hands.]

"mmm hmmm."

[eyes still wide, she whispers...] "does blood shoot out their necks when they're running around all headless?"

"i would imagine so."

"wow."

[5 minutes later]

"mom?"

"yes?"

"can we go buy a chicken?"

[silence.]

"...and scissors?"

her thoughts on modelling:

"mommy! mommy! no! don't take it away! i was fashioning my face!"

"lady n, you aren't allowed to get into mommy's make up."

"but mommy, you don't everr buy me any of my own! it's not fair! i want my own make up! you never share your make up! how do you tell me to share and then you won't share!? that's not fair! how am i apposed to be on that tyra girl's show if i don't have my own make up!?!"

"you can't be on there until you're older lady n. by that time, you'll have your own make up."

[mumbling angrily] "guess you have to be old to do anything 'round here! i can smise! i just need make up!" [stomps off]

her ability to introduce herself:

[sunday school teacher substitute] "hi there! what's your name?"

[widening her eyes] "my name is ach-med!" [pause for effect. the other children start to giggle. lady n turns around, widens her eyes even more if that is possible] "silence! i keeeeeel you!"

her ability to give her father a heart attack:

[poking sir g on his shoulder.] "daddy? daddy? daddy? daddy!" [did i mention this is 5 am and we're asleep?]

[sir g sits up frantically.] "what!? what?!"

"daddy i have a new favorite song!!"

[sir g still groggy.] "what?!"

lady n snaps her fingers impatiently. "daddy. pay 'ttention! i have a new favorite song!"

[laying back down.] "what is it lady n?"

"weeeeeeell, you have to guess."

[impatiently.] "i'm sleeping. just tell me."

"it's nooooooot seek amy."

"k."

"it's nooooooooot that helen keller hip talkin' song with the bad f word in it that you and mommy never let me listen to."

"great. what's the song?"

[deep breath.] "can i sing it for you??" [giggling]

"fine."

[deep breath, giggles.] "let's have some fun this beat is sick, i wanna take a ride on your disco stick!!!"

[sir g sits up in bed rather quickly.] "get out of here! and don't let me hear you sing that song again!"

"then keep your bad ear up!! geez!!!!" [sir g is deaf in one ear.]